Joyful Expectation

Two things I try to avoid in life is getting my hopes up and change. The truth is, I get pretty disappointed with disappointment.

My secret plan is to silently expect the worst and set my expectations low. Even though I can expect and pray for good things for others, I just struggle with doing it for myself. I can’t believe I’m admitting that – but it’s true.

A few months ago in our house church, we studied this passage.

Our house church

Romans 12:9-13 (The Message)

9-10Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

11-13Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

In our house church we use the Discovery Bible Study model – which ends with the question, “After reading these verses – how will you change?” The idea is – let’s not just read the Bible, let’s decide how we are going to tangibly obey what we just read.

Ha!

I used to be able to sit in church, hear a sermon and think “That was GREAT! Somebody should really start doing that!” Now at church, we read a passage, have a lively discussion and then each decide how we are PERONALLY and SPECIFICALLY going to change. Then we tell each other what we decided. It’s painful! Have I mentioned I don’t like change?

Seriously.

If you’ve known me for any length of time you might think, “Well – she changes her hair and it appears she has changed her continent recently – she MUST like change.” But this is misleading. I don’t like every day change that means I’ll have to do something differently.

It’s very inefficient (efficiency is one of my MOST favorite things). I want to learn how to do something well – and then just keep doing it FOREVER that same way. I don’t change my desktop graphic, I don’t rearrange my furniture, I don’t like to upgrade my cell phone. I even resist a new television series (back when I had television) – it just seems like a lot of work to get interested in a whole new set of characters and plot line. You see my point - it’s putting it mildly to say I resist change.

So after reading that passage about being “cheerfully expectant”– I realized I had to change. Even though I can do it for others, I really don’t “cheerfully expect” at all for myself. In fact, I PURPOSELY don’t joyfully expect. That night God showed me how wrong I am.

So, my “I will” statement was…”I will have joyful expectations.”

Bethany, a friend in our house church, asked me a few weeks ago, “How’s that going with joyfully expecting?”

Julie and Bethany

I said, “Yes, I think that’s a really good idea…but I still don’t want to.”

She said, “Julie, how much would your life change – if you really did ‘joyfully expect’ good things?”

Hmmm…how much would it? I began to realize, if I joyfully expected good things, even if bad things happened, I would just continue to expect God to work it for good. Isn’t that in the Bible somewhere?

I thought I would be changing Africa – but as it ends up – Africa is changing me.

So the 2 things I avoid – high expectations and change – are pretty much the two things I am choosing to embrace at this moment. Church isn’t for us something that happens once a week, it’s something that happens throughout the week as we live in community. That means I see people almost every day that know how God is working in my life. They’ll actually say, “How are those joyful expectations going?”

I can’t get away from it!

So I am choosing to joyfully expect good things – joyfully expecting God to show up and somehow work out all these messes for good. And there are A LOT of messes.  Real relationship with real people is messy...poverty is messy...township life is messy.

So now, when I need to make a decision or choose my attitude, I’ll ask myself, “Julie, what would you do if you were joyfully expecting good things from God?”

He loves to do GOOD things! I know this!  I'm expecting it!

Next time you see me – ask how my “joyful expectations” are going!

Heaven - The Real Deal

She died and went to heaven. Seriously. Actual-real-deal heaven.

Have you ever wanted a small glimpse of the afterlife? Something to make you hold on a little longer? Sometimes even a tiny slice of heaven can make the days not as cold, the nights as dark, and the road not as long.

Mike and Kalyn

Kalyn seems like a regular person. Originally from Oklahoma, she moved here to South Africa with her husband to work with All Nations. We both went to the “Girls Christmas Craft Night” last month, and while I was craftin my fingers to the bone stitching felt birds together, she rocked my world with her story…

Kalyn’s Story:

When I was 16 years old, I was sitting on the hood of my car playing the guitar. A friend of mine hopped in the car, got behind the wheel and started to drive it up a hilly street. As she drove down the hill, the car gained speed. I couldn’t balance, so I planned to throw my guitar off and grab the windshield wipers, but the force from throwing my guitar caused me to flip backwards onto the pavement. I had massive injuries to my head and was rushed to the hospital.

The doctors told my mother I wasn’t going to make it.

I remember physically leaving my body and watching everyone gather around me in the hospital room. I even remember seeing our neighbor boy lie to a nurse, saying he was my fiancée to get into my hospital room. Later, he was shocked I knew he had done that.

After hovering there for some time, I then was with Jesus. I just remember His eyes – looking at me with such love! We didn’t have to speak. He could read my thoughts and I could read His. He is AMAZING! It was so real…all my senses were SO ALIVE. It makes this life we are living now – seem like we’re dead – compared with how REAL and full of life that life is.

Even at our most healthy, fit, vivacious life, it is as if we are not even alive here on earth. THAT is how amazing being in the presence of CHRIST IS. Every cell of your body is vibrant with life. It is brighter than the brightest sun. It is incredible to be in His presence!

I was so filled with joy that all I could do was dance. I danced without stop in the presence of Christ. It gives me joy just remembering. Words truly can't express how it is to be in the presence of Jesus. In the scripture it says, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face.” (I Cor. 13:12).

It is as if we experience His full glory and it is INCREDIBLE!

Some time passed, although I had no concept of time, and I remember Him looking at me. I stopped dancing and He asked me if I wanted to return to earth or go with Him. Of course there is no way anyone would ever want to leave the presence of Jesus. It is as if you are truly alive for the FIRST time. I answered that I wanted to go back to earth. I was shocked that those words came out of my mouth. NO ONE would choose to return to earth after being that full of life. I believe it was the prayers of my mother and friends that caused me to choose to return. After that I woke up from my coma several weeks later.

It was a painful recovery…I still wear a hearing aid and have no sense of smell. In fact, I had to re-teach myself to read. But for years afterward – whenever I would reflect on that time, I could still feel the presence of Jesus. In fact for a long time, whenever I would hear someone had died, I would say… “That’s WONDERFUL! That is GREAT! They are with Jesus – they are having the time of their life!” My mother would have to remind me people were grieving and sad.

In heaven we are more alive than ever in this body on earth. It IS an actual place, and I look forward to being COMPLETELY ALIVE after I have died and left this earth!

Pudding That’s Not Pudding

If you ever hear “Bring your costume and some pudding” in South Africa, you’ll know this is a swimming party with a dessert potluck (that is not likely to include actual pudding, as you know it).

Here are a few “must know” terms for your next trip to South Africa…

Costume (or Cozie) = Swimming Suit (as in “swimming costume”)

Context: Bring your cozie!

Commentary: When I first heard someone say “Bring your costume!” I thought, “Costume? Princess? Pirate? Dinosaur? I don’t have a costume!”

Now Now = sooner than Now

Context: I’ll be there now now.

Commentary: People say this all the time. “Now Now.” From what I’ve been able to gather from several different sources – this is the equivalent of “asap” or “right now.” Of course this is Africa – so it’s not lightning quick or anything – it just means “I’m STARTING to head in that direction.”

 

Pudding = Dessert

Context: Do you want some pudding?

Commentary: Pudding here is the generic term for dessert. Odd. A South African was telling me she had asked an American to bring pudding to a pot luck dinner and she brought with a bowl of chocolate pudding (as I most certainly would have). The confused South African said, “What’s this?” and the American said, “Pudding, of course!” So they served the pudding for pudding!

Force Cup = Plunger

Context: Well…we better go get a force cup.

Commentary: We’ve been in Africa for about a year now – and had to buy our first “force cup” recently. When Karl asked the Pick N Pay (grocery store) employee where to find a plunger – they looked at him like he was crazy – after several hand motions (don’t picture it), they pointed him to the “force cup” section.

Half Past Eleven = 11:30

Context: Meet me for lunch at half past 11.

Commentary: The most exact time gets here is 15 minute increments - “quarter past,” “half past,” or “quarter till”. Saying 11:15 or 11:45 is not common. I asked a friend once, “What if you had an appointment at 9:10 am? How would you say that?” She said, “Why would you have an appointment at 9:10?” Shouldn’t they just make it for quarter past?” Ahh…good point– it seems it’s just us Americans that like to be so precise. How I miss a movie with a show time at 8:25 pm!

Craftin My Fingers to the Nubbins

There are crafty-esque people and not so crafty. Research shows I fall into the definately NOT so crafty category.

However, I stand in admiration of these crafty people (not crafty like Brer Rabbit – but crafty like “I just whipped up amazing winter decorations for every room in our house, while I was knitting matching mitten/scarf sets for orphans and making home-made Christmas cards for all 200 people on our mailing list”).

THOSE crafty people. They are amazing.

I always walk away a little resentful I could not think of any of their amazing craft ideas in a lifetime or find the energy to craft up a single Christmas card. Oh sure, in college I made a few Christmas presents for friends.

I seem to recall an angel ornament made from a variety of noodles – this was the height of my Craft Career and my skills have since been in serious decline.

All told, scrap booking has left me with a few feeble attempts and one half finished book.

Knitting sounds like something I would like to do – but the skill set is beyond my capacity.

Even baking is something I leave to the professionals.

However, I will say here in Africa I am surrounded by some amazing Craftation Women. I even attended a craft night and attempted to make some “Joy to the World” birds. Yes, it’s true.

This is my green "Joy" bird - as in "Joy to the World" - to be hung from a pinecone branch I found outside

For those that know me well, rest assured that I was surprised as anyone to find myself later stringing pop-corn for our tree and hanging an Advent Bunting Calendar. I had not even heard of bunting till last week. Who knew this was the latest fashion? Triangle banner flags hung by string? Do you see how out of touch I have been with the Crafting World?

I even found myself buying some old buttons from an antique store – thinking, "WHITE BUTTONS! These must be useful to someone! Maybe they could be useful to ME!"

So here is the new me – attempting a few Christmas crafts – next thing you know, I’ll be making my own clothes, kneading bread from scratch, and canning tomatoes.

Alright - this idea is swiped from the VERY CRAFTY KATE (Christmas Advent Bunting Calendar) and the paper was donated by my friend Sarah - but I did print the numbers, cut and glue them (my 4 year old should be proud)

Advent Bunting Calendar (mark the day with a paper clipped black arrow)

We put our mini-tree on a table - in hopes of making it feel a little more tall-ish

Little did I know it takes about 2 hours to string pop-corn for a mini sized tree

OK - so I confess I did NOT make these (but I DID hang them with "sticky tack" - THAT is a skill).

OK, OK, I didn't make these either - but I hung them up in an attempted crafty-looking stagger


The white buttons inspired me! I think I'll put this star at the top of our tree (Jensen has been VERY disturbed we have a starless tree).

A few weeks ago Jensen said, "Mom, Santa is NOT going to like this house -there are not very many Christmas decorations."

I hope he appreciates the fact that I have been craftin my fingers to the nubbins!

Besides crafting...see the other cool things we are doing in Africa! See December journal

If you have a favorite Christmas craft, recipe or idea - please comment below!

African Style Thankfulness

Top 5 reasons to be thankful for living in South Africa...

Turkey with friends on Thanksgiving Day

#1: From 9,000 miles away Husker football penalties and poor refereeing doesn’t seem quite so vivid – especially since we can’t actually watch the games (although still very painful to recall – I’m trying to block it out as we speak).

#2: I now know what it means when they tell you to pull your “trolley” up to the “till” (my “cart” up to the “cash register”) – even though I have to go back EVERY TIME to weigh my fruit (they can’t weigh it at the till – and I look like a crazy person running with oranges swinging in all directions as I hold up a entire line of people who clearly took the time and effort to weigh their fruit first)

#3: The 30 miles per hour gusts of wind, although likely to blow away my children and the roof off my house, do a top notch job of drying my laundry (yes, you heard that right, I am now a line drying machine – although of course not really a machine at all)

#4: I'm so glad the dollar was up today - 7 to 1 (it has been at an all time low since we have returned). The fluctuation in the value of the dollar can mean up to a hundred dollar difference in the rent we pay every month. I never thought I would care so much about the international power of the dollar. Go up! Go up! Go UUUUUUUPPPPPPPPP!

#5: I can use “hectic” appropriately in a sentence. Unlike “hectic” in American – which simply means busy – hectic here means so much more…

- “So you had a hectic past” (you did drugs, became homeless, had 4 kids, and checked into rehab)
- “My hair is quite hectic today” (noticeably messy and perhaps missing a shampoo or two)



- “Her driving is a bit hectic” (she has no idea what she’s doing and drives like a mad woman)

So there you have it. Happy Thanksgiving…hope it’s not too hectic!

Toast Parties and Dadisms

Ahh…little girls love their daddy. And I love mine – dearly and now almost desperately.

Growing up we had what we called “Dad-isms.” Classic things my dad always said.

Here are his top 20 Dad-isms:

1. Let’s have a toast party (this was a special treat of family time – eating jelly toast, talking, laughing - and most importantly staying up past the bedtime we rarely missed)

2. Use Normal and Customary procedures (he repeated this over and over again while teaching me to drive – I’m so grateful he thought I knew what “normal and customary” driving procedures actually were).

3. Put away your guitar and clean up your room (this one was for my brother – who taught himself to play guitar and is now an amazing worship leader – but I guess his room must have been pretty messy)

4. Now see if you can get back home from here (he loved to play a game where he would ask us to close our eyes while he drove my brother and me to some random location and then we had to figure out how to get home from there – from the back seat of the car we would give him directions till we found our way home “turn right…go straight…etc.” – he felt it was very important to be able to get “unlost”)

5. Since responsibility is your middle name… (this statement would proceed some responsible thing he was sure I was about to do)

6. Only under these 3 conditions (often he would let us talk him into doing something we really wanted to do – but there were ALWAYS 3 – not 2, not 4 – but 3 conditions)

7. Start saving (he believed you should actually save up your money if you want something - how unAmerican!)

8. Where’s the Buick? (in college he would let me borrow his car and instead of asking where I was he would say, “Where’s the Buick?”)

9. Only 90% true (he believes that several things can be true at once – meaning everything is not always as clear-cut as it may seem)

10. I’ll give you ten guesses (this is a game we still play – where we have to figure out something within 10 guesses – aka, what restaurant did he eat at last night, who did I run into at the mall, etc. - this is a game I hate to loose)

11. Pick up as you go (he believed in cleaning up messes as you made them)

12. I-C-E (my parents would spell out I-C-E for ice cream when I was young, thinking we wouldn’t catch on to that one…ha!)

13. Train! (this is a game of who can hear or see a train first –then yell “Train!” to stake your claim of firstness)

14. Keep short accounts (he firmly believes in shoring things up quickly – debts, conflicts, etc.)

15. Long pause (like most men, my father likes to pause in conversation – apparently it’s only us women that see this pause as long – as our pause is about 1/100th in length – he attributes this to a man’s smaller lung capacity)

16. I’ll give you $10 if you can solve this math problem (he loves both a good incentive and good math problem)

17. Is it in the book? (meaning have you recorded your day’s expenses in your budget book?)

18. Have a banana (his way of saying “eat healthy”)

19. Hey Champ! (that was my brother) and Hey Bug! (that was me - not sure how I ended up as the insect and my brother as the champion)

20. Today is a packet day (a freeze-tag style game my dad made up 50 years ago - involving wadded up packets of newspaper and two teams – it’s great fun and has been carried over to international notoriety in Kabul and Cape Town)

So that’s my dad.

I’m sure it’s obvious from this list, but he really is an exceptional father - toast parties, games and life lessons. If everyone had a dad like mine, this world would be an entirely different place.

That said, for his birthday this past Tuesday I had a special request. As many of you know, he finished Chemo for his cancer (chronic lymphocytic lyphoma) last summer. We thought it was great…the cancer treatment was successful!

However, he is now sicker than he has ever been. His immunity is so low from the after effects of the chemo treatment– his body can’t seem to fight off ANYTHING. He’s had painful canker sores for over a month now (that refuse to go away) and a lingering fever that has lasted over a week. It’s possible his immunity may be severely compromised for the rest of his life…with little hope of medication that can help.

So for his birthday, we asked friends to join us in a fast for the complete recovery of my dad’s immune system.

Many people sacrificed for us in prayer – sending encouraging words and scriptures. We can’t thank you enough!

After reading the kind words from friends, here is the email I got from dad today.

Julie and Karl,

This is dad.

I have read many emails that came from your request.

All are encouraging.

Thank you so much for caring for me.

I am overwhelmed that so many are praying and caring.

I have significant pain but I work daily to speak into kids.

I talk funny but the kids seem to get it.

I am weak but they are so helpful.

I run scared but Jesus runs within me.

I am discouraged but not without hope.

The race is now difficult but Christ has won this marathon.

Because the church surrounds me, I am not alone.

Many have endured, I am in good company.

This is hard, but Jesus is my life.

I have one verse, I have a thousand. They all say one thing, "Jesus in you, the hope of glory."

We are called to run the race, but sometimes it's a vertical thing, hard but upward.

Sometimes, the answers are slippery, but JESUS is not. HE is the ANSWER.

We must all run while resting in His PRESENCE.

I am tired now, talk later.

love, dad.

*The "kids" are dad's students (he teaches math at a junior high school)



I stand in awe of my daddy. What I wouldn't give for a toast party right now.

NOTE: Here is the page on our site with the scriptures friends sent for my dad and a status update on his health: Prayer for Julie's Dad

His Instruments

Sitting in the bookstore café with Karl, I was surprised when an old man clamored over me. He quickly hopped onto a chair next to us and reached for a book sitting on top of the book shelf.

Now I was curious. You never quite know what you’re going to get in South Africa.


“Is that a good book?” I said (referring to the paperback he had just swiped from his high altitude perch)

“It better be…I wrote it!” he replied, as he slipped colored photos of an old cello into the books.

“Oh…what’s it about?” I inquired. He seemed so intent on his mission – I HAD to know.

Mr. Robson introduced himself and explained how a homeless man, rummaging through the trash on “bin day” (as in “garbage bin day” – naturally the day you set your trash out), discovered a few splintered pieces of an old baroque cello.

Although it looked more like firewood than a 300 year old treasure, he passed it on to someone who “knew something about music.”

For 30 years it sat in storage…neglected, worn to shreds, unusable.

Mr. Robson, who had a habit of restoring old instruments, took it out from time to time. He admired the old bits of worn wood, but was daunted by the task of restoration. He wasn’t inspired to repair it until his music group took up an interest in performing Bach’s church cantatas on original instruments.

And why wouldn’t you? Why perform Bach on a hideously modern violin if you can find the original instrument from Bach’s era? Little did I know, there are people who live to do this.

After months of tedious labor, he made an amazing discovery! Much to his shock and excitement, this was not just a cello from around Bach’s time - it was a 5 string cello-piccolo, created in 1707 – most likely to have been used by Bach himself. These instruments were only popular for a short time, as a precursor to the modern day cello. They are now obsolete and extremely rare - with a mere 4 or 5 in all the world – designed solely for Bach’s church cantatas (there are only 10 songs Bach composed for this instrument, “Deck yourself, my soul, with gladness” being the first).

Standing in the café with a wistful look in his eye he said, “I just knew this instrument was really special.”

In his book Midnight Mess (by William Selway Robson), he goes on to say, “I could sense its musical soul was intact, it only needed painstaking repair to bring it back to life again!”

For some reason I had to hold back tears.

Hearing him speak so tenderly about the discarded instrument, thrown in the trash, found by a beggar and restored to beauty - I couldn’t help but think of my friends in Ocean View.

They are discarded, neglected, abused, forgotten, thrown away. They are in the bin….treasures…waiting for restoration. When someone…just one person…takes the time to sit for hours, peeling back layers of hurt and abuse, carefully gluing pieces in place, repairing broken strings – a treasure takes form.

Not just an expensive, well crafted instrument – but a priceless instrument, designed by a great composer for specific type of song.

I thought the lyrics to Bach’s first song, composed for this piccolo-cello, are quite fitting…

DECK THYSELF, MY SOUL, WITH GLADNESS (lyrics to 3rd verse)

He who craves a precious treasure
Neither cost nor pain will measure;
But the priceless gifts of heaven
God to us hath freely given.
Though the wealth of earth were offered,
Naught would buy the gifts here offered:
Christ's true body, for thee riven,
And His blood, for thee once given.

He is our treasure and we are His…instruments - born to be restored – with a destiny to be played in a song composed uniquely and specifically and only for us!

If we are not played, our part of the song will never be heard.

I love 2 Timothy 2:21

(We) will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work.

May I stop performing my own song, but participate in the cantata He wrote just for me!