Karl's Eulogy to His Mom

Guest Blog Post by Karl Ostrand

Read by Karl's close friend Kevin Atkinson at Joan Ostrand's Funeral (March 1st, 2014)...

As I approached the South African customs agent in preparation to board the plane home, I was doing everything I could do to keep it together. I handed her my passport and she asked why I was going home. With tears streaming down my face, I explained that my mother had literally just passed away hours before and I was returning home for the funeral. 

At that moment she stopped and looked straight into my eyes and said son….”You are returning home to celebrate a life.” And thus, as I have learned many things from my African brothers and sisters, I know this to be true…we are here to celebrate a life!

The last family trip we took - went to Great Wolf Lodge (spring of 2014)

On behalf of my father, grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins and dear friends, I thank you for being here to do just that.

In the last week, I have heard so many amazing stories about my mother. With stories come adjectives. Loving, joyful, kind, caring, sincere, thoughtful, willing, trustworthy, steadfast, reflective, knowledgeable, helpful, generous, faithful, encouraging, brave, compassionate, affectionate, amazing….the list could go on and on.

As I’ve thought about what stands out to me about my mom, it was her love. The definition of love says… “an intense feeling of deep affection”

Mom and Karl (Christmas 2014)

It was this feeling of love for family and friends that has touched us all. She would do anything to show you her love. In the same respect, to show you her love, meant she wanted to share with you her most prized possession. And that possession was her eternal faith in Jesus Christ. It’s what motivated her in life and compels me in her death. 

If she was standing here today and I asked her, “Mom, what do you think of your funeral?  Without a doubt she would say, “I want the love and power of Jesus to be known.” Everything else would come a distant second to that request.

My dad and I were reading a journal she was keeping which demonstrates her love and faith in Jesus. As she battled the evils of cancer, she wrote these words…

I miss my mom with words I cannot express but I also rest in the peace and assurance that she is sitting at the right hand of God.

So mom, rest assured that nobody will leave your funeral without hearing about your prized possession…the love of Jesus that exists for everyone here!

I love you mom!

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:13

Karl going with his mom to chemo (summer 2014)

Miscarriage and Cancer - Opening My Hand

Well…it’s been a roller coaster.  In the past few weeks I turned 40, found out I have skin cancer and experienced the miscarriage of our 4^th child.

I am learning how to open my hand to the gifts He gives - to see them as gifts...even when I don't like the wrapping paper.

Please watch this VLOG (video blog) for some VERY HONEST talk – the pain and the joy of this loss.  I share about what it was like to experience a miscarriage, how we have celebrated his life and other "gifts" I was not willing to see as "gifts."

Also, we felt our child was a boy and named him David Paul.  We had a memorial service for him on November 2, 2013 and asked our family to join us. Here here are some things each person shared:

For David Paul: A Poem From Mama

Every night

I spoke to you in hope

Cradled dreams

A life without scope

I loved every finger

Each tiny toe

Your heart was beating

So fast...then too slow

I carried you

Wrapped in the darkness of my womb

But now He carries me

You're wrapped in the lightness of heaven's room

I know your smile

And see your face

The road seems long

But I feel His grace

My true joy

Is in the empty tomb

Death has not won

We will meet soon

So Good Bye for now

My David Paul

The pain is deep

But this is not all

A thousand years

From this Day

We'll sit on that celestial shore

And marvel at His Perfect Way

- Your mama

Scripture from your father

A note from your sister Jensen

Thoughts sent from my brother and his family (living in the Middle East)

Jaden: I know you will be waiting in heaven to meet all of us. We can't wait to meet you.

Jett: I think you would have been a wonderful boy and I would have been your friend.

Ava: The Lord loves you and your baby. You will have a great time in heaven. I'll see you there later.

Alea: I will hold you in heaven.

A Letter from Aunt Erin:

Dear David Paul, 

These days I find myself getting through the day by imaging what heaven will be like. Lately, I've been imagining what it will be like to have our entire family together ...in heaven...with no goodbyes. Goodbyes are my least favorite. I can't wait to all be together, as one family, in heaven, never again needing to say goodbye. 

I can't wait to meet you and learn about your personality. Please know that you are so loved. We will have many adventures together! It's very special to know you are in heaven waiting for your family to arrive. We love you so much and can't wait for the day when we are united for eternity.

Love you!

Aunt Erin 

Psalm for David (written by Uncle Ken)

The Lord is my guide, my storyteller,

Who helps man to see in the dark,

Who gives understanding in chaos,

Peace, in the valley of the shadow,

He paints His wonders on the Earth,

Making beauty from dust,

And glory from the void.

He lifts my spirit with His Spirit,

From the womb He bore me,

Up on the wings of Eagles I flew,

He carried me from the land of the living,

To the Kingdom of warming light,

Where men dream Gods' dreams,

And walk once again in the cool of the day,

Unafraid, while the dew is till on the roses. 

He places his arms around me, in His lap,

On His knee I sit, still with awe and wonder,

Listening to His Great Story, and,

Waiting for end of the age,

When I will see them, hear them, hold them,

My dear ones, the Lord's anointed,

Face to face.

- Uncle Ken

A letter from my father (Bompa)

A letter from my mother (Grammy)

Scriptures from Karl’s mother (Mimi)

Scriptures from Karl’s father (Ppop)

We put everyone’s letter – along with our precious baby in a tiny casket Jensen decorated – in this jar and buried him in my parent’s back yard.

We love you, David Paul!