Fear Itself - The Results: Part II

There are 31,536,000 seconds in year. Should you waste even 1 on worry?

Is it ever worth it to worry?

I surveyed about 30 women (as research for the women's retreat I spoke at) and asked 5 questions with interesting results...

Have you ever worried about something that later happened?
85% of you said YES

Clearly most of us at some point in our life had worried about something that then later happened. I was surprised this wasn't 100%.

If so, were you glad you worried about it in advance?
90% of you said NO

The overwhelming majority of us wish we had not spent even small amounts of our short and precious life worrying about it – even if it did happen.

A few people were glad they worried – they felt it help them “mentally prepare.”

Here was an interesting comment: One of the most serious things i worried about happened and i lived through it. Through the process of living and leaning on God I am learning His faithfulness, His love and His air tight covenant ways and how trustworthy He is.


Have you ever NOT worried about something bad that DID happen?
95% of you said NO

If so, do you wish you had spent time worrying about it?
100% of you said NO

Not one single person every regretted NOT worrying. I can say that if I had known that someday I would have a child with Down syndrome, I would have spent a whole lot of time worrying about it from every angle for 34 years. As it is, Emme is wonderful and with my 31,536,000 seconds in year, I was happy that I didn't waste even one tiny second on worry.


Is there a difference between worry, concern and fear?

What you said…

About 2/3 of you said there is a difference. Here are a few of those answers…

True fear can keep you from making unwise decisions...can keep you alive.
Concern gives you the chance to change the course or outcome.
Worry never changes the course or outcome.

Maybe just the intensity or magnitude...add up a few worries and you have a concern...add up a few concerns and you find yourself fearful.

Fear can be something that probably won't happen.
Concern is something you might think about and do something about it.
Worry is when you can't let go of it--over and over in you mind.


What the dictionary says…

Fear
1. a distressing emotion whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
2. concern or anxiety; solicitude

Worry
1.to torment oneself with or suffer from disturbing thoughts; fret.
2.to torment with cares, anxieties, etc.; trouble; plague.
3.to seize, esp. by the throat, with the teeth and shake or mangle, as one animal does another.
4.to harass by repeated biting, snapping, etc.

Concern
1 .to trouble, worry, or disquiet
2. worry, solicitude, or anxiety:

Notice a pattern here? I'm not sure I see much of a significant difference.


So what’s the solution to all this needless worry?

Here are a few famous suggestions by four noteworthy men (all of which I found to be not the least bit helpful to us women):

#1 The Dalai Lama has been quoted as saying “If there is a solution to a problem, there is no need to worry. And if there is no solution, there is no need to worry.”

Ahh, very catchy. My problem with this is: We all know it’s true - most worries have nothing to do with solutions – and that knowledge gets us virtually nowhere. If they did, the lot of us with husbands who have been known to offer a solution or two, would have quit worrying years ago.

#2 Thomas S. Kepler, a respected biblical scholar and author, is credited with the statistic that only 8% of the things we worry about actually happen.

I think we all whole heartedly agree that worrying is not logical. Does this realization help us to worry less - even though we know 92% of it is pointless? Also – if 8% of the stuff I worried about could legitimately happen – that would still be quite a few awful things!

#3 Don't Sweat The Small Stuff by Dr Richard Carlson says you should just ask yourself - "Will This Matter a Year from Now?"

My thought? Yes!! Many things we all listed in our “every day worries” could actually matter a year from now (child getting hit by a car, not paying credit card bills on time, loosing income, etc.). Again, not so helpful.

#4 Dale Carnegie, in his book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living suggests asking the question, "What is the worst that can possibly happen?”

Umm…a lot of really BAD STUFF, Dale!

So what’s the ultimate answer to our piles of fear and worry?

I think the truth is that the Lord’s Prayer was made for women – women who worry, specifically. Here’s what I think the "Lord's Prayer" is really saying...

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven

The key here is "Thy will be done, on earth AS IT IS IN HEAVEN."

How do we know if something we are worrying about is “His will?” - is it something "God wants?" A good question to ask is "would this type of thing happen in heaven?"

When you're tempted to worry - pray for His will.

Give us this day our daily bread.
Daily bread represents all of your needs (not wants). Most fears have to do with unmet needs.

If you're worrying about something you need - ask Him to give it to you (hey- this isn't my suggestion - it was Jesus' idea to ask for what we actually need).

And forgive us our trespasses,
His forgiveness of our trespasses saves us from an eternity of our very worst fears constantly coming true (hell itself). This is the most important thing - whenever you feel guilty, chances are it's for a good reason - because you've done something wrong. Tell God just that "I've done something wrong", make it right with whoever you need to, and ask Him to forgive you.

Sometimes when we worry - we're really just feeling guilty. Take care of it.

as we forgive those who trespass against us.
Most fears about this life have a lot to do with bad things other people may do to us. Forgiveness, although it does not change the bad thing that happened, allows you to move past it so that the bad thing, although it polluted the moment it took place, does not have to pollute the rest of the moments after that.

If you're worrying about the wrongs people have done to you in the past - forgive.

And lead us not into temptation,
Temptation to do all the things we shouldn't.

If you're worrying about something tempting you - ask God to steer you very far away from temptation of every kind (the little tiny ones and the great big ones).

but deliver us from evil.
Evil sums up the root of our deepest fears.

Ask God to deliver you from all that is, by definition, "evil" (according to the dictionary - evil is anything...morally wrong or bad; immoral; wicked; evil deeds; an evil life; harmful; characterized or accompanied by misfortune or suffering; unfortunate; disastrous)

For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory. for ever and ever. Amen
The Kingdom – when you experience it here – is the opposite of every fear.

The Message Bible's translation for this line is "You're in charge! You can do anything you want! You're ablaze in beauty! Yes. Yes. Yes."

Ask God to bring His Kingdom now.


I think the Lord's Prayer pretty much covers every type of worry!