I No Speaka English.

Apparently it’s me that doesn’t speak English.

I keep using the wrong terminology and people look at me like they really want to understand - but honestly have no idea what I’m saying.

SOUTH AFRICAN TERMINOLOGY TO NOTE

1. AT A RESTAURANT

- "Take Away" food is "To Go" food
- "Chips" are "fries"
Do you want to take away your chips? (Do you want your fries to go?).
What I'm thinking: Please don't take away my fries.

2. CHORES

- "Tumble Dry" is the "clothes drier" - as opposed to wash line drying
- “Nappy” is diaper
I'll change Emme's nappy then tumble dry her pants (I’ll change Emme’s diaper then put her pants in the drier).
What I'm thinking: Isn't "nappy" what Emme does in the afternoon while she's sleeping?

3. IN THE KITCHEN
- “Crockery” is “dishes”
- “Cutlery” is “silverware”
- A “serviette” is a “napkin”
- A “tap” is a “facet” (you "open" it - instead of "turning it on")
Throw away your serviette and open the tap to wash your crockery and cutlery. (Throw away your napkin and turn on the facet to wash your dishes and silverware.).
What I'm thinking: What??!?

4. ON THE STREET

- “To pitch” is to “show up”
- A “robot” is a “stop light”
- A “traffic fine" is a “speeding ticket”
- A “speed cob” is a “police man"
- “Skipped” for “ran through”

I didn’t pitch at the meeting because I got a traffic fine from the speed cop when I skipped the robot (I didn’t show up at the meeting because I got a ticket from the police man when I ran through the red light).

What I'm thinking: I don't get it! Whenever someone says "turn left at the robot" I can't help but picture Rosie, the Jetson's maid, out on the streets of Africa directing traffic.

5. AT THE BEACH

- Costume is a "swimming suit"

You're going to the beach? Let me get my costume! (You're going to the beach? Let me get my swimming suit!)

What I'm thinking: Wow! They wear costumes to the beach here? THIS I've got to see! It was very disappointing to realize a costume is only a swimming suit. If only we wore costumes to the beach!