Old is the New Young (Kinda)

I have always believed “40” is what happens to OTHER people – not something I would actually experience for myself.

And much to my shock and disbelieve… I eventually turned 20, then 30, followed by an unavoidable 35 and now at nearly 37 – I feel as if 40 is a smug Katie Couric waiting to air our interview on foreign policy.

Growing up I constantly felt I looked TOO young. Julie means “youthful one” and for years I distained not looking quite my age. I remember being carded for a MOVIE around 30 years old, and thinking, “Does this high schooler behind the ticket counter really think I’m 16 and could be in his P.E. class? Disturbing!”

However, in Africa these past 6 months – we were THE OLD PEOPLE. I think the average age of the rest of our training class was about 24 years old. This should not have surprised me (being “the old couple,” that is) – but somehow I still feel 24, despite my near 40 year old state (doesn’t everyone?).

I will say…the highlight of my summer was returning to our home church and being introduced as a “nice young couple.” It was great. I thought that’s right – I’m young! I have my whole life ahead of me! Jensen’s not going to put me in a home YET!

To stave off the inevitable, I’m reading the book “How Not to Act Old” (by Pamela Redmond Satran), and I have to cringe at the tell-tale signs of my inescapable old age:

• Wearing a watch - the “evil young” (as Satran calls them), don’t wear a watch because they use their cell phones to tell time – I say, show me a cell phone you can strap to your wrist and I’ll show you a girl that no longer wears a watch!

• Leaving a voice mail - apparently “the young” prefer to let you see their “missed call number” so you can wonder with excited anticipation what is the urgent reason for their call (as opposed to “leaving a detailed message at the beep” – however efficient and polite that antiquated system is – apparently it’s out). As for me, when I see a missed call I assume you accidentally called my number and are hoping I didn’t notice.

• Sending email – Ahh – why use email if you can reduce all your communication to 140 characters in a text message or Twitter post? If you have more than 30 words to say, should you really be saying them at all?

• Surfing the Net – No one calls it that (it’s “getting online”). Here are a few techy words Satran says we all must know before our old age pushes our current vocabulary into Shakespearean oblivion:

1. Dead Tree Version: paper edition of a newspaper or book
2. Ego surfing : Googling yourself (you should try it)
3. Fat Finger: typo excuse (because your fat fingers can’t find the right keys??)
4. Mommy Save: saving a computer file without first choosing a folder or directory
5. Voice Novel: endless voice mail

So there you go!

If I could just get myself to throw out my watch, reduce all communication to texting, never leave a “Voice Novel” and stop sending email – I could give Joan Rivers a run for her money!