Truth About Real Life: Becoming a Person of Color

If you've known me for any length of time...you may have noticed my addiction to wearing black and gray. Does this speak to a deeper issue (“issues” I should say)? Probably! There’s certainly always tell-tale signs, isn't there?

In fact...this was such an obvious theme for me that I was caught off-guard when a few years ago at one of my baby showers, all my friends were instructed to wear black to the shower – just to show support for my dearly beloved policy in women’s apparel.

In a rare moment I didn't show up to the shower in the total black. The hostess was so surprised! I said, “Really? Everyone was supposed to wear black?” She said, “Julie! Honestly! You ALWAYS wear black!” Somehow that fact had slipped by me.

I reasoned to myself...Black is slimming! Black is classic! Black should be the obvious first choice for everything! Every clear-thinking person is aware of this.

Note: As Americans we often avoid using the word “black” in any kind of reference to anything. But here in Africa “black” is a perfectly fine descriptor – so I can say with confidence I LOVE BLACK (OK...I still feel a bit uneasy admitting this so freely). Just bear with me here.

It wasn’t just my clothes – my house was decorated in black and white. Sure I had some accent colors – but black was the constant, immovable theme.

And then last year I was in the process of shaking off some old and hurtful habits and I thought, “Is it possible to reinvent myself at this point? This life needs an overhaul!”

Don’t get me wrong – I still love black with my whole heart. But I decided then and there to become a Person of Color.

I remember last spring this pink and white dress was my first $20 purchase toward a life change – representing so much more than a change in clothing or home decoration.

I wanted a physical reminder that even me...who hates changes and holds on to the past with white knuckles...could REALLY CHANGE and to prove it to myself I decided to incorporate COLOR everywhere I could!

Black still creeps in there, but now (on most days), I do my laundry, paint walls, hold birthday parties and get on the floor with my girls in festive colorful dresses.

This one may be slightly "bridesmaid" - but why not??

It’s a little “1950’s house wife” I agree...but sometimes you need a serious “Self Intervention” where you confront yourself and conclude the only thing left to do is pull a George Costanza and do the opposite of everything you have ever done – in order to get different results than you’ve always gotten.

So enjoy this photo of tour of color in my life...as I seek to embrace a little less control, a little less pursuit of my own rightness, a little more joy, a little more remembering to stay in THIS moment.

Speaking of THIS MOMENT...I had the stark realization yesterday there isn’t “more to get to...eventually” – there isn’t more.

I’ll say it again (mostly to myself) THERE IS NOT MORE. There is just now. THIS is it. THIS moment. THIS conversation with my husband. THIS little girl wanting me to tuck her in and hold her hand. THIS prayer. THIS really is it. THIS is my life. I will embrace it for what it is right now. Not for what it could, should or would be.

This is probably too much information on the minutia of my life so please feel free to scroll to photos (I haven’t told Karl this yet)...but in the spirit of that realization – I am really going to attempt to have a 5 minute conversation with my husband every day that is just a “fun, nothing conversation.” You know the kind you would have with a boyfriend – where there isn’t any actual point but to enjoy each other’s company (I do love a good point!)...a conversation without logistics (grocery lists, kid schedules, budget questions, or scolding’s etc.)! It’s embarrassing that this is so revolutionary to me. I tried it last night and was reminded again how easily Karl can make me laugh if I just put down my agenda for one tiny second.

My footnote for the day...a life well lived is creating the harmony between “this must change” and “this must be embraced for what it is.”

Without further ado...

Even in creating my “garden house” – I’ve resisted the temptation to slip back into my old black habits.

Dining Room Bench (recycled wood from pallets) Note: we are thinking about selling these type of pillow covers as part of the Motherhood is Beautiful program - want to buy some??