Shame and Pleasure Sorted

You have to give it to South Africans for reducing long, overused statements into one word. Why waste all that time, energy and valuable lung capacity on unnecessary verbiage? Frankly, I’m surprised Americans, of all people, didn’t come up with these time-savers themselves– being that we’re in a hurry and all.

Here are the top 3 “reduced statements” words:

Shame!
Short for, “Aww, that’s a shame!”

This one word takes care of…
• Oh, too bad.
• Wow, that’s awful!
• I’m so sorry to hear that!

Examples…
There isn’t a simple packet of white socks, ranch salad dressing or rubber bands to be found in a single store in all of Cape Town? – “Shame!”

Your world cup tickets are counterfeit? – “Shame!”

A baboon stole your sandwich? – “Shame!”

The baboon that REALLY did steal my sandwich 2 feet away from me today. He looked so cute when we were taking the picture. NOT CUTE eating my sandwich. Bitter!

Video of this baboon jumping into someone's car right
before the crime against my sandwich: http://vimeo.com/12317124

Pleasure
This handy little word takes the place of "It's my pleasure!”

Other ways to put it...
• It’s no problem!
• I’m happy to do that for you.
• Thanks for stopping in and spending your American cash in my store!

Examples…
When you buy your house electricity at the corner gas station –“Pleasure!”

When you thank someone for doing the dishes (being that there isn’t one dishwasher within a 3,000 mile radius) –“Pleasure!”

When you ask someone to pass you the “cool drink” (aka Soda Pop) –“Pleasure!”

This cool drink (Cream Soda) really is BRIGHT green here -
tastes basically the same -
but feels like you're drinking martian blood

Sorted!
This convenient word takes the place of…“Everything has been sorted out for you.”

In other words...
• It’s all been organized.
• Everything is taken care of.
• All the details have been worked out.

Examples…
Are we having pap for dinner? (pap is every South African’s favorite staple – a traditional porridge made from ground maize – kinda like mashed potatoes, but not really at all) – “Sorted!”

We’ve moved about 10 times in the past year and are just curious – do you know if our new living arrangements have been handled? – “Sorted!”

My take on it? I still haven’t sorted why...

- ALL the locks here require a key FROM THE INSIDE (Fire hazard? Hello, Backdraft!),

- there are NO light switches INSIDE the bathrooms (they are opposed to the fancy little reset switch in American bathrooms that handle any moisture issues)

- every room has ONE outlet ONLY (do you really need a lamp AND a cell phone charger AND a clock? – all in ONE room – you CRAZY Americans should be saving power)

-why most sinks have separate cold/hot faucets (missing what they call the “mixer” – to “mix” the hot and cold water – apparently there is no valid use for warm water from the “tap”– sorry about that, Jensen - just wash your hands in the scalding hot water).

Still trying to get sorted on all that...

I guess the idea is that you should fill up the sink with a
mix of hot and cold water to get warm - Holy 1950's!

Shame! Sorted! Pleasure!